On the fourth day of existence “God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also. And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth, And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good.”
That sounds like hard work. Except if you’re God, but I bet he was wishing that time would get its butt in gear, and invent the Black Forest. Instead he had to sit around for 6000 years (that is how old the earth is, right?) while one Jew begat another Jew with only the occasional smiting in between for entertainment, before sending his own son down to get killed. After that, the rest is history. As opposed to mythology.
Why was God so eager to get to the Black Forest? To cruise one of the Lonely Planet’s ‘Top Five Scenic Drives in the Black Forest’, that’s why. I can’t promise you’ll find free love on the Freiburg freeway but the routes do have themes such as ‘Franco-German friendship, wine growing, clock-making and spas’. What more could you want?
A good place to stay could be the ‘ageing but still elegant…Sophisticated yet relaxed’ Baden Baden. I would kill to be described as ’sophisticated yet relaxed’. It’s like a 1970 Playboy article on What Your Bachelor Pad Should Say About You: ‘Nothing says sophisticated yet relaxed more than a concealed motorised drinks cabinet’ that sort of thing.
They even have a quote on their site from the King of Sophisticated Yet Relaxed, Bill Clinton: “Baden Baden, so nice that you have to name it twice”. If Bill likes Baden Baden, it it must must be be amazing amazing..
(Wow, Roadhouse has just come on the telly and it is so camp. And so great. In five minutes Patrick Swayze has pimped some chino strides up to his nipples followed up with a super lightweight linen jacket. He’ll probably roll the sleeves up soon.)
