Alright guys, here’s the plan for the 2007 Kill Cancer Death Rally. After much thinking and thunking I decided we need to get a bit more gnarly. That means that this year we’ll do a rally and then *wait for it, drum roll, dry ice, per-lease* arrive at Roskilde Festival on Thursday 5th July.
This means for the same price of entry as 2006 (that is nothing, because it is free to join) you’ll get a monstrous rally and one of the coolest festivals in the world.
“Yada, yada, yada” I hear you mutter “Coolest festivals in the world? That’s what they all say.” But do they all have a naked run at the end of them? The answer to that, dear reader who says nay, is a resounding “No they frickin’ don’t”.
You think I’m lying? Check it out (the video player didn’t work on my machine), some more photos, and I feel someone from the KCDR should prevent Magnus from winning the race four times in a row. We must prevail.
The smart ones wear protective eyewear
The line-up has yet to be announced but last year it included the Arctic Monkeys, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Tiga, The Scissor Sisters, Bob freaking Dylan, Editors, Fat Freddie’s Drop and loads more I can’t be bummed to list. It’ll be great.
Dates and Route
The festival starts on Thursday 5th July (it is twinned with Glastonbury by the way), so we leave England on Saturday 29th June and make our way to the fjords of Denmark. This means we will stop off in Holland and Germany. We could go through Amsterdam, swing down through Berlin or take our time coming up the coast of Denmark which is beautiful in the summer.
Example of a Danish person
(girls, I Googled “male model Denmark” but found boring things like Age, period and cohort effects on first-child fertility in Danish men, part of a discussion of the famous Danish social model.)
If you’ve got any ideas about where we can go use the wiki to share them, by clicking here (a wiki is shared webpage, if you don’t know, moron).
Killing Cancer
The format will be the same as last year: get a car for less than £100, decorate the hell out of it, then get sponsorship to raise money for Cancer Research UK. Cancer kills a load of people every year and it will, more than likely, be coming for you.
Do you know what that means? A lot of pain. Loads. If you’re around at the end of it to go “Boy, didn’t cancer hurt”, you’re lucky. The other option is death, curtains, rideaux, as they say in France. So by raising money you’re doing your bit to ease suffering in the world – which is more than you can say about most road trips.
Last year we raised over £8000 (precise figures still being calculated as my money collection hasn’t been great) for which I really thank everyone who was involved. Everyone who came, and everyone who donated. This year I’d love it if even more people came for a drive so we could raise even more – £15000? £20000? – that would do something to help kill cancer.
How to help (more)
The first thing you could do is come, but there might some who want to do more. I’d love it if you did. Last year I did the early prep work all on my own (eurgh, look at that self-pitying tone, when in fact I got help from loads of people, but I’ll leave it in to remind me to not be a whiner) and would really appreciate some (more) help. Now, one of the reasons I didn’t get any helpers was linguistic.
You see, the thing you do in these situations is to form a commitee and ask people to be on it. A commitee? Seriously? A committee for the Kill Cancer Death Rally is as necessary as a bureaucrat at an orgy. However, some form of backroom organising body would be appropriate, providing it didn’t sound lame.
Therefore, if anyone would like to join the Council of Doom to prepare the Kill Cancer Death Rally 2007, I’d be most glad. What this will involve, I don’t know, but I’d love a hand (as Jeremy Beadle said to the bishop who asked him what he wanted).
Conclusion
The reason the rally rolls is that cancer killed my mother when I was wee. I can’t tell you how much that hurts to this day. There’s a sadness I can almost taste when I think of all the time I could have spent with her. She was a truly wonderful person who got snatched away far too soon. Now I want my revenge.
Let’s review the keys points again :
Last year the rally was my four best days of 2006.
This year it’s happening again, but better.
Get a car which costs less that £100.
Decorate said motor-car like crazy.
Each person in the car to raise at least £250 for Cancer Research UK.
Raise loads of money for Cancer Research UK.
A rallier to win the naked run at Roskilde 2007.
That’s it, please email tomshellley [at] gmail dot com with any queries, thanks so much, and see you on the rally.
